Top 10 Best Ron Swanson Quotes

Show some damn respect.

Ron Swanson is the ultimate example of meat and confidence. Defiant and brutally honest, he’ll fight for his land, his ideals, and his friends to the end (even if he won’t openly admit to it). He may be a man of few words, but those few words are what make Ron so great – so we’re passing on the top 10 Ron Swanson quotes of all time.

10. “I know what I’m about, son.”

           Truly a mantra for our times. Believe in yourself! Just because a number eight is a party platter that allegedly feeds 12 people doesn’t mean you can’t conquer it in a single sitting. You can do it!

9. “I ate it already… and now it’s gone, and I hate everything.”

           It’s okay to be overcome with emotion, especially after you already ate the bacon snack Leslie made you for the trail. Sometimes our whiny sides get the best of us, usually when we’re hungry. Just keep calm, and find yourself a new meat snack. 

8. “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.”

           Once a liar, always a liar. Never forget that, whether it be in the dating pool or the dairy section.

7. “You had me at ‘meat tornado.’”

           Did we mention Ron likes meat? No? Honestly, so do we, and just like Ron, we’d eat anything called a “meat tornado” without a second thought.

6. “I’m just making sure no one ever has to eat this.”

           Yes, there are people out there who actually enjoy vegan bacon, but no, it isn’t the same, no matter what the worker at Whole Foods says. Don’t listen to their lies.

5. “I’m a simple man; I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.”

           The hidden message behind this one is simple: be who you are and enjoy what you enjoy. You do you, and own up to it – don’t let anyone else define who you are, especially when it comes to breakfast.

4. “I know more than you.”

           We feel the same way whenever we walk into Best Buy.

3. “I worry what you just heard was, ‘give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, ‘give me all the bacon and eggs you have.’”

           Did he stutter? Bring him 4 dozen eggs and 6 pounds of bacon, stat!

2. “Never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.”

           Ron’s a father figure on the show and a father figure to us. Don’t waste your own time and spread yourself too thin when you can dedicate yourself to one truly worthwhile thing.

1. I’m Ron F***ing Swanson.

           Need we say more?

For more from the man himself, click here.